The Equation for Contentment

I'm sorry. I've been off-topic for a while. But, the truth is . . .

I'm not having a hard time with my station in life at the moment. Why?

Yoga.

As I mentioned before, I'm doing Bikram Yoga. It forces me to stay hydrated. One of my yoga teachers says that the blood it brings to my face plumps the cells. I don't know if it is the hydration or the "mini-face-lift" she describes, but when I look in the mirror, I don't see the tired lady with the minute lines starting to give her face "character." I'm not tired like I was. When I do get tired I Sleep. (Capital letter fully intended. The sleep is that good.)

+ Listening to My Body

I stayed home from work recently because I got a little case of bronchitis, and, because I now know what a healthy body feels like, I had no problem giving it what it needs to get healthy again quickly. I have decided that there is no real virtue in "toughing it out;" you just have to suffer longer. But that is not my point.

+ New Books

However . . . during that time at home, I was "Oprah-fied." (That's when you give in to the Goddess Oprah and really listen to her latest plan to rejuvenate the world. ) I admit it; I bought in. I buy a lot when I am sick and watching TV. I'm currently in the middle of Eckhardt Tolle's book, The New Earth. I even picked up The Secret. All of this is stuff I know, and stuff I have been applying to my life increasingly in the past year. (Truthfully, I have come a long way from where I was a year ago.)

+ Herbal Tea

Oh yeah. Then I fell in love with herbal tea. I discovered this place online called The Blessed Thistle. The woman who runs it is a true herbalist and the teas are Magnificent. (This is the direct link for the tea page.) I bought a sampler pack and could not find one tea that I disliked. They all tasted great and delivered on their promises. I just bought my second batch today. Not all these events happened in the order listed, but they all happened at the same time.

= Contentment

All in all, I am quite happy with myself. I am still a fashion disaster because it is winter and just getting up in the dark to go to work is an accomplishment for me. I guess I can continue to improve there. However, it just doesn't seem as important now. Perhaps for the next little bit, you may have to put up with posts about bliss and happiness with this very interesting decade of life.

New Focus?

Titles like "5 Things That Make You Believe It May Be Possible to Pronounce That Evil F-word: Forty."

That might not be so bad, would it?

Photo by Terwilliger911 through Creative Commons.

F is for Fantastic

I wanted to take my time with this one because I wanted to do it right.



The previous clip is footage of one of my friends, Stanley Love, being launched into space as part of the crew of STS-122. It was his first launch. He realized (what I believe to be) a lifelong dream, and my students and I watched it live (via the internet) as he prepared to fly and then launched on his mission.

Every time I watch this footage, especially the countdown, my heart catches for just a moment. The thrill I receive has most to do with the great joy of seeing him do something he has always wanted to do. It is like the gratification one receives at the thundering crescendo of a symphony as it grows toward its climax, the heart pounding thrill of being one with the music and the composer's vision, even though it is only vicarious, even though you are only getting a pale echo of what it must feel like to be that composer and have the experience yourself. I know his triumph belongs to him and his family, but I can't help but feel triumphant too, like for a moment anything is possible for all of us if we work for it and do what it takes.


A Profile




Stan Love is among the top 10 most intelligent, creative people I have ever met. This video does not begin to give a flavor for the man I know, but it is a start.

Footage of Him in Action



During his time in space, Love walked at least twice. This is footage of his last trip outside the space station. I believe this was the assignment he was originally planning to be a part of. However when Hans Schlegel became ill early on in the mission, Love was called upon to take part in actually installing the new laboratory, Columbus, to the international space station. He was then required to add another space walk to his agenda.

Touchdown



Finally, on Wednesday, the symphony of dreams reached its resolution as Atlantis landed, safely and beautifully once again on Earth. Both takeoff and landing looked picture perfect to me, and I hope that his trip was everything he dreamed it would be.

I am ignorant of so much of the science that happened on this mission. As an English teacher, I am far more into symbolism anyway. Once again, even though I know it is his triumph, I am honored to have been able to vicariously attach my own meaning to these moments, and I sincerely hope he does not mind that I have taken this time to share them with you.

P.S.

I don't mean to brag, but I have another friend at NASA who was also instrumental in the STS-122 mission, and many others as well. His name is Glenn Pogue, and he is part of Mission Control, routinely launching astronauts into space and guiding them to their destinations. Thanks, Glenn. I know this little blurb doesn't do enough to appreciate the things you do for the space program, but I couldn't let the fact go unnoticed.

A Call to Action

Alright. I realize it is too late for me (and even my kids, probably) to put a stop to it. But I have a plea for all you parents of children 4 and under.

STOP THE MADNESS!!!

You have a chance to raise your sons and daughters to see a better world. You can do it. The world doesn't have to look like it does right now.

You see, I'm an alumnus of Northern Illinois University. I was shocked and moved and betrayed by the events that happened there this past Valentines Day. (I was also in shock when events played out at Virginia Tech last year.)

I was most disturbed by the fact that various places that I spent many beautiful, peaceful, and happy hours have now been touched by blood, and traversed by SWAT teams. A memorial to the dead now stands on a hill that my young sons and I spent an afternoon giggling and rolling down. All our hearts are tainted by the events that occurred last Thursday.

I teach high school in DeKalb County and many of my students graduate and attend classes on campus there. Many of my current students also find themselves on campus for various reasons. Some co-workers from my part-time job also are their pursuing their Bachelor's Degree. Worry ran high, but no one was lost or even in the lecture hall (Thank God). My colleagues and I are fortunate.

But it is time to look at the bigger picture. How can we make this stop? Eric Zorn of the Chicago Tribune asked his readers for some description of the problem. He got a lot of answers.

As I told you: It is too late for me and my generation. The children we have raised are the ones engulfed by violence in one form or another almost every second of the day. Our children have been raised by daycare in large groups and many lack a sound background in our own family values. There may not be much we can do for them. However, it is probably never too late to try to bring civility and the expression "This is what our family does . . ." into various conversations and situations.

The school where I teach has been in the process of forming a curriculum in Social and Emotional Learning (a less technical phrase would be a curriculum in how to know oneself and get along with others). For a good article on this go to the CASEL website and click on the article from O Magazine called "the New Improved Self Esteem." You will find it under the announcements section.

One reason we are implementing this curriculum is because it is mandated by the state. The other is because our students often don't have a clue how to deal with situations that involve uncomfortable feelings like when someone doesn't agree with you, or you don't see any way of achieving what you want quickly, or you just feel bad and don't seem to fit in. Fights increase as our school population becomes more diverse, not just ethnically but socio-economically as well. Cruel, threatening, words are spoken just to get attention or to make a particular student feel like they have an affect on the world. Our students come from homes where, if the same tactics have not been used by the parents and role models in the home, those tactics have not been corrected because the world is a "tough place" and people have to be tough along with it. You can't be "weak:" you need to win and never back down or lose face or embarrass yourself.

This needs to stop. Today.

A new world will not begin in a world with more guns or less guns. Nor will it begin in a world with more abortions or less abortions, more God or less God, more drugs or less drugs. It will begin in the nursery.

A New World will begin with:

The unabashed love of each parent for his or her child. This love will not tolerate an unkind act, not from the daycare bully or (most importantly) from their own child to another. It will begin with responsibility for actions. When the child is too young to know better and does something unkind to a playmate or embarrassing to a neighbor or friend that act will not be shrugged off or laughed at. That act will be met head on and corrected, apologized for, and restitution will be made to the wronged party. Parents will be examples of the Right Thing to do, meeting uncomfortable situations and feelings eye to eye, never wavering, being brave.

When a child has problems that make them hard to manage, or that might be embarrassing to acknowledge. Parents will love their children enough to meet that issue head on, get the child the help they need and never waste a moment on regret or shame. The only shame is in not doing what it takes to give a child the best possible chance of existing comfortably with in the bounds of this world.

The True Acceptance of Difference. I am in no way advocating conformity, but I am advocating the acceptance of difference. People are not alike. It is ok to stop pretending that we are. Even though all ways of being are valid. No one will be liked by everyone. Children should be taught how to dislike, disagree with, and be different from each other without needing the opponent to be less than they are. An opposing viewpoint does not negate your own. A good wish from a different culture is still a good wish. Teach children to live with love and acceptance and they will love and accept.

Guidance. Children need guidance, and that is what they have lacked from my generation. We want our kids to be happy and we run around trying to do what it takes to give them the things that will "make" them happy. The truth is, we cannot make anyone happy. No car, no game system, no amount of freedom will do it. Children grow happy when given guidance and the ability to be unhappy and learn that it will pass.

The Courage to Be Uncompfortable. If it sounds like I am advocating a world where every mother or father stays home with their child, I'm not. I'm advocating a world where sometimes a parent chooses the discomfort of their child's protests over the comfort of a quick fix. I'm advocating for a world where every parent advocates for a child's right to be themselves, but not at the expense of another child's rights. If your child likes to push others around, give them the guidance to know that is wrong. If your child is harassed let them know they did not cause it by their existence and show them how people work together to settle difference. Do not be upset if your child's behavior is criticized, look for the truth and help the child adapt to exist peacefully.

Zero Tolerance for Unkindness. Don't tolerate rudeness and active unkindness from each other or in your children. Some "jokes" just aren't funny. Don't let people belittle others then hide behind that excuse; don't do it to your kids.

Don't let Daycare and Elementary School be the places where kids go to learn to be mean and to learn to tolerate the tough treatment that the world has to offer. Teach them a better way, and as best you can, for their sakes, follow that better way yourself.

If we start now, with our children under five years of age, if we stand tough and brave, and filled with Love, we may be able to make scenes like the one at Northern an anomaly of history.

I am an undying optimist and I know that calls for Utopian solutions don't work. I guess I assume that we all want the same things, and I shouldn't. But we need to make a plan somehow.