Happy Thanksgiving!

I am thankful ...

• That I look very good for my age. (I hate to sound conceited, but I decided that I will be happy to be a great looking forty something instead of lament the fact that I no longer look like a twenty something.)
• For Tiffany at Wild Iris Salon
  
• For my Honey who loves me just the way I am (no matter which personality I am expressing at that moment).
  
• For my Children. They are my reason.
  
• For teenagers that like to write creatively. They turn water into wine.
  
• For Brenda Kinsel. She gives me hope.
  
• For the Pyramid Corporation. They give me style (when I can afford it).
  
• For the Office of Letters And Light, a group that makes my Novemebers so much more interesting and exciting. Someday I will finish a novel that I start. This year so far I have doubled my word count.
  
• For the Chicago Writers Association, a group that has taken me under their wing and into their fold. They are there for me when I need a touchstone.
• For the gang at Artist's Way Play (a yahoo group) they have given me so much emotional and creative support this past year. They are my light house to weather my storms of confidence
• For the folks I know at NASA. You are pushing the boundaries and you inspire me because I see you living your dreams.
• For The Pretty Girls because you make me feel welcome.
• For mineral make-up
• For the Abs Diet. There is a lot less of me because of this.
• For my dance teacher, Austria. She Monday something to look forward to.
• For my contact lenses.
  
• For so much more than I have time to mention.
  

Faith Hill, Redbook and Jezebel

Take a look at this entry from Jezebel. This blog is soon to hit my favorites list. Managing editor Anna Holmes was quoted in the Chicago Tribune as saying of the Jezebel staff, "we believe women are taught to hate themselves at a very young age . . . So we don't say misogynist things about a woman's weight." They think Faith Hill looked just fine before Redbook "fixed" her. Me too.

Radiant Women

I got an email trying to sell me Cheryl Teig's new skin treatment so that I can be an Age Defying woman. That sent me down a trail that lead me to Oprah (Who else? Whenever women are concerned about something, Oprah is there. Isn't she?) then I was ultimately lead to a woman named Dayle Haddon who has written a guide to Ageless living.

It is worth checking the website out because she seems to be making a lot of sense. She believes in the following principles for Ageless living:

	Celebrate Who You Are. I can get behind this because the days that I hate myself for not being 25 anymore are days spent pointlessly. As I've said before, I have come to realize that no matter how bad I feel about my age, it doesn't make me any younger. And who are "They" to say that I can't do what I want just because of the year I was born? Most of them couldn't even begin to guess that year in the first place.
	Nurture Your Spirit. I've been doing a lot more of that this year, and it really relieves a lot of stress. I don't have to be upset because my man goes off and does things he enjoys, because I have given myself permission to do the things I enjoy too. AND, I don't have to be mad at him for not enjoying all the same things I do because MY things are for ME. I can look forward to them and feel good about them.
	Discover Your Wisdom. There is a lot of knowledge we ladies past our 20's have over those young girls. My favorite quote comes from Steven Tyler of Aerosmith explaining why he and his band have it all over the younger guys in music: "They screw. We fuck." And I really think that sums it up, metaphorically, not just sexually.
	Practice Healthy Living. This summer I got crazy and ditched the four cans of Dr. Pepper a day that kept me alive. I started eating food meant to fuel my body in a healthy way: almonds, spinach, berries, meat, etc. And now my body positively thrums every morning when I wake up. I excerise, lift weights, go for walks whenever I can. I can't tell you how much it shows in my attitude, my mindset and my emotions, but if you ask my family, they can.
	Create Balance In Your Life. This one sort of speaks for itself I guess. You don't want to be obsessed. That will drive you and everyone else you know crazy. Have fun. Work hard. Care about others as much as yourself. Makes a lot of sense to me.

I will probably end up buying this book some day. After I get done "dressing myself from the inside out." retooling my appearance is expensive.

Fatty Acids

So...The other day I was standing in Walgreen's about to commit a mortal sin. I was about to actually plunk down the $30 to $50 that pay for a month's set of diet pills.

Yes, I know that diet pills don't help. I know that my diet and exercise plan are what really cause the fat to melt away. But I need to lose weight NOW! I have been on the Abs Diet, using the sample instruction from Women's Helath which gauranteed me flat, sexy abs by the end of June. And, even though I gave my self until mid July because I started late, I'm not seeing the weight drop away. I'm seeing my body tone up. I'm feeling better, and I have more energy, but I'm still 30 pounds heavier than I want to be.

So on the 4th of July I reached my breaking point. I was feeling really fat. Like "one minute I was fine, thinking I looked pretty good then the next minute I was a big old moo cow on steroids" fat.

I was getting ready to go out to the Kane County Cougars game. I love them and they have great fireworks, but every time I'm there I can't help but notice all the great looking women. They look so good in their short-shorts, halter tops, and perfect tans. I don't know if my Man has seen them. He is sweet enough not to mention them, but since some time last year I've been feeling like I can't compete. This trip was going to be different. Since I am pulling together a stylish wardrobe, compete with those little t-shirts with the empire waistline, the ones that look so cute and hide so many flaws, and I have proper shorts that fit right, I knew I was set.

I didn't even make it out of the house before it all crashed around me, psychologically speaking. At one point I even swore I was watching my ankles grow right before my eyes. Despite all my Man's assurances to the contrary, I was barely able to leave the house because I knew I didn't stack up. My man said he couldn't seen it. My mother comfortingly explained that if I was swelling as fast as I claimed I must be pregnant. So I sat myself down in the 10th row of the Grandstand and talked to myself about the realities of life. I asked myself what all my worrying and obsessing would do. Could crying make me younger? No. Could whining make me lose weight? I started to reason myself back into reasonable self confidence again. I even played "I may not look as good as her, but I've got it all over her" to cheer myself up. That was when I took my son to the souvenir shop at the ballpark and caught sight of the elderly whale in the mirror. Tomorrow . . . Diet pills would enter my diet!! It was a promise I intended to keep.

So there I stood in Walgreen's on the 5th of July. I hadn't realized that Alli was non-prescription. I had originally come in to purchase the one that eats away at all the fat around your tummy, so I stood in the Diet Aids section deeply absorbed in the brochure and debating which starter set I would buy. I must have stood there too long because I heard a bright young voice announce over the intercom, "Customer Assistance needed in Diet Aids. . . Customer Assitsance needed in Diet Aids." We've all been taught in communications class that there is the sender, the receiver, the medium and the message, right? The sender may have been trying to get a somewhat confused looking customer get some much deserved help, but she might as well having been saying "Big Fat Cow hanging out in Diet Aids. Mooove along, Bossy!"
I dropped those pills and got out of there so fast.

Actually, I'm grateful to her. I had no business buying those pills. According to the literature my weight doesn't qualify me. I can put $50 to so much better use. As a matter of fact I am planning on signing up for dance work out classes in the fall. That is so much better for me than diet pills.

But what I want to know is where is this warpped since of body reality coming from.