Fatty Acids

So...The other day I was standing in Walgreen's about to commit a mortal sin. I was about to actually plunk down the $30 to $50 that pay for a month's set of diet pills.

Yes, I know that diet pills don't help. I know that my diet and exercise plan are what really cause the fat to melt away. But I need to lose weight NOW! I have been on the Abs Diet, using the sample instruction from Women's Helath which gauranteed me flat, sexy abs by the end of June. And, even though I gave my self until mid July because I started late, I'm not seeing the weight drop away. I'm seeing my body tone up. I'm feeling better, and I have more energy, but I'm still 30 pounds heavier than I want to be.

So on the 4th of July I reached my breaking point. I was feeling really fat. Like "one minute I was fine, thinking I looked pretty good then the next minute I was a big old moo cow on steroids" fat.

I was getting ready to go out to the Kane County Cougars game. I love them and they have great fireworks, but every time I'm there I can't help but notice all the great looking women. They look so good in their short-shorts, halter tops, and perfect tans. I don't know if my Man has seen them. He is sweet enough not to mention them, but since some time last year I've been feeling like I can't compete. This trip was going to be different. Since I am pulling together a stylish wardrobe, compete with those little t-shirts with the empire waistline, the ones that look so cute and hide so many flaws, and I have proper shorts that fit right, I knew I was set.

I didn't even make it out of the house before it all crashed around me, psychologically speaking. At one point I even swore I was watching my ankles grow right before my eyes. Despite all my Man's assurances to the contrary, I was barely able to leave the house because I knew I didn't stack up. My man said he couldn't seen it. My mother comfortingly explained that if I was swelling as fast as I claimed I must be pregnant. So I sat myself down in the 10th row of the Grandstand and talked to myself about the realities of life. I asked myself what all my worrying and obsessing would do. Could crying make me younger? No. Could whining make me lose weight? I started to reason myself back into reasonable self confidence again. I even played "I may not look as good as her, but I've got it all over her" to cheer myself up. That was when I took my son to the souvenir shop at the ballpark and caught sight of the elderly whale in the mirror. Tomorrow . . . Diet pills would enter my diet!! It was a promise I intended to keep.

So there I stood in Walgreen's on the 5th of July. I hadn't realized that Alli was non-prescription. I had originally come in to purchase the one that eats away at all the fat around your tummy, so I stood in the Diet Aids section deeply absorbed in the brochure and debating which starter set I would buy. I must have stood there too long because I heard a bright young voice announce over the intercom, "Customer Assistance needed in Diet Aids. . . Customer Assitsance needed in Diet Aids." We've all been taught in communications class that there is the sender, the receiver, the medium and the message, right? The sender may have been trying to get a somewhat confused looking customer get some much deserved help, but she might as well having been saying "Big Fat Cow hanging out in Diet Aids. Mooove along, Bossy!"
I dropped those pills and got out of there so fast.

Actually, I'm grateful to her. I had no business buying those pills. According to the literature my weight doesn't qualify me. I can put $50 to so much better use. As a matter of fact I am planning on signing up for dance work out classes in the fall. That is so much better for me than diet pills.

But what I want to know is where is this warpped since of body reality coming from.